i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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