so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
