i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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