She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
