with your own penis?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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