I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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