HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I am morally bankrupt
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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