Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
