i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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