just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sext me about skeletons
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
