I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
