The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
