He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
