PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
