There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize