I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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