I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
