Don't you send me to vm
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
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All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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