Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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