DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
