Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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