I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
