Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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