You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
