I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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