he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
