i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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