my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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