What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
