My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Randomize
