Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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