I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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