Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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