All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
