I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
