K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
