Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You work out of a Hotel?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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