Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
