My Higher Power is John Stamos
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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