Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
