they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
