if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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