Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize