genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
