He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
