That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
