HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
