it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
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Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
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She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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