She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
