and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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