His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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