physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
