I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
