Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
