My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
