i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
