what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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