you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
