If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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