The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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