Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
